‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle

In ‘Untamed’, Glennon Doyle bravely shares a personal journey of self-discovery, encouraging readers to break free from societal expectations and live authentically. Although not strictly a parenting book, this memoir offers more for women and mothers than many purpose written books.

Short take: ‘Untamed’ is a personal memoir that highlights the messy nature of raising kids while navigating relationships, career, and personal wellbeing. What I loved most about this book was Doyle’s raw honesty and vulnerability. I think both parents and their children can gain something by adopting the essence and spirit of Doyle’s message – to be yourself.

Parenting Approach:

The defining features of Doyle’s parenting approach are authenticity, honesty, and unconditional love. She speaks of accepting children for who they are, and resisting the urge to control or mould them to societal norms.
Doyle models vulnerability and open communication with her kids. Her approach is closest to a democratic style of parenting.

Key Themes:

Authenticity: Doyle emphasises the importance of living in alignment with one’s values and true self. By challenging societal standards and predefined roles, and listening into one’s inner voice of intuition, Doyle argues that we can all cultivate a sense of purpose, connection, freedom and fulfilment.
Courage: A central theme of the book is courage – the courage to challenge norms, to listen to one’s intuition, to pursue one’s dreams despite fear and uncertainty, and to parent against the grain.
Self-Discovery: Doyle encourages introspection and self-reflection, sharing how she has embarked on a path of self-discovery through therapy, writing, and connecting with like-minded people and communities.
Relationships: The book explores the complexities of relationships, from romantic partnerships to friendships, parent-child relationships, and family dynamics. Doyle advocates for honesty, vulnerability, and mutual respect as the cornerstones of all relationships.
Parenting: A significant portion of the book focuses on parenting and the challenges of raising kids in a world that imposes endless rules, roles, and expectations. She encourages parents to nurture their children’s individuality and provide space and support to grow into who they are destined to be.

Overall Impression:

In an age where we are flooded with self-help books and parenting advice, ‘Untamed’ offers a refreshing and much needed message – embrace authenticity. Through her writing, Doyle encourages us to do what feels right for our own families – to parent in a way that feels authentic, to lean into intuitive knowing, to block out what society says is right or wrong, and to nurture our own and our children’s unique identities and paths.
While I didn’t necessarily feel aligned with some of the specific ways Doyle approached things with her children (eg. Sharing certain struggles and hardships with her young daughter) this is entirely the point of the book. Doyle is parenting in a way that feels right for her while being supported by her therapist and community, and this is a place that all parents should be supported to get to. As such, I think readers will gain most if they take the essence of what Doyle is saying, rather than trying to directly emulate her parenting style.
This is a book about much more than parenting and motherhood. It explores the multifaceted nature of identity and the challenges of juggling the various roles and responsibilities that come with being a woman, mother, partner, friend, worker and human being. It is about having the courage to embrace parts of ourselves that may be hidden or stifled. In doing so, we have the power to send a message to our children that they too can be brave enough to embrace their true selves, even if this means going against the grain. What a powerful message to send.
As a woman and psychologist, I found this book exciting and empowering. A worthwhile read.